Tag Archives: WTF

Verne’s & Jules’ first vacations part II: meeting Chucky & Damien

30 Aug

Knowing that school will start soon again, my two little creepy creatures wanted to spend the last day of vacations playing on the beach. I just covered myself in sunscreen and sat there watching them play.

 

After a while they both needed to dry, despite how they love water everyone knows the damage it could cause in their tiny metallic gears.

I was almost falling asleep, listening to the sound of waves, when someone hit me with a shell. I looked and just saw two awfully ugly kids growling and creeping on the sand. Then, out of the blue, Jules started screaming…

– Chucky!!!!!Chucky and Damien!!!!

– You know those…things?, i asked.

– They are my cousins!!!

 

– Hey Jules!!!, how’s you little one?, they both said at the same time.

– I’m great! Now i live with Verne and this woman in a very nice castle, we’re on vacations now. How is the family? Have you seen my parents?

– Oh everyone is fine, they are touring around Russia now, we hate the cold so decided to spend a few days in this island. We’re staying in that cave, very comfy!!

– That is great, please do tell them i miss them, and that i am waiting for them in Ame’s castle, ok?

– Sure we will!!!

 

I gave them both the landmark to my place, so they could find Jules in case his family decides to pick him up someday. They were chatting for hours, and even Verne started to like the two scary kids (they’re soooo damm ugly) and asked them to visit us sometime. We layed on the beach, ate some marshmallows and watched the sun set in the last day of vacations.

The next morning me and the creepies headed home, and Chucky and Damien decided to stay in the island a couple of weeks more, before joining the rest of the crew in Russia.

Something tells me we’ll see those two again…

Doofy & Snow White, just another bizarre love story

29 Jul

Being a princess isn’t easy, specially when your dad gets married with an evil woman that is jealous of your youth and beauty. Snow White got tired of all those boring princes that only wanted the secksin and her dad’s money so she was quite glad when her stepmother sent her to the dark forest…

No animals , no people, nothing. She was about to die of boredom when suddenly she started hearing some music…Following the sound she found a club in the middle of the forest and there he was, giving it all on the dancefloor.

– Hey pretty!!! My name is Doofy, how are you?

– Hello, i am Snow White, but my friends call me Snowhite. I am a bit lost in the forest.

– Oh, don’t worry i can take you home. Used to live with my 6 brothers but i got tired of them. Wanna see where i live?

She was hungry and needed to pee badly, so was quite happy to go somewhere nice, and that little dwarf looked harmless…

 

– Ohhh i love roses, thank you!!

– A girl like you should always have roses.

– I like you, Doofy.

Snowhite was feeling safe with that sweet romancing dwarf, they danced and danced and finally rested a bit on the beach.

 

– Mmm Doofy, you have a big thing in your pocket!

– Oh…that…that is my mobile phone sweety. Anyway, do you wanna see the rest of the place?

– Sure, do you have a toilet?

– Ermm…yes i guess…

 

Doofy said they’d play a game, and after playing she could pee. Snowhite agreed, after all she was very curious about this guy and always liked playing.

 

– Ooh a cross! Dad’s wife has one, but i never knew what was it for.

– It is a very funny toy, just let me adjust the cuffs and…voila!

After a while she was sweating lots, so Doofy gently offered to help her get undressed… and they continued playing.

 

After an hour or so Doofy and Snowhite were both tired, and the idea of a massage seemed nice…

 

 

– Oh, almost forgot, next week it’s my birthday. My 6 brothers will visit, wanna join the party?

– Sure Doofy, i am not going anywhere…

Is there a cure for stupidity?

23 Jun

Brian Pickrell once said: “The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.”
And i totally agree. Considering stupidity is often defined as lack of intelligence or understanding i think it goes further. I consider myself an intelligent person. Yes i am not the brightest or the wisest ( not yet at least ;p) but i have a brain and i use it most of the time. This said, i admit i’ve been quite stupid at times too so…can stupidity be cured or, at least, prevented?

I started my investigation in Dr. Smartass’ clinic for metal disorders, checked tons of reports and phoned some colleages…but nothing.

 

Hmmm maybe it has something to do with the brain structure itself, or maybe it’s in the genes, travelling through your veins…passing from mom to children… Is it possible that certain brains are meant to be more stupid since birth?

 

No, that is not possible since really dumb parent sometimes have very bright kids, and viceversa.

When i was lost, deliberating, trying to find the clue…it came to me naturally.

A book from a shelf fell on my head, was painful since it was a thick one, but that gave me the answer…

 

Yes,i know reading a book wont save the world from stupidity, and there are also some people with  a high culture that are amazingly stupid. But i also think the more you read about several subjects, the more you learn and the more your mind opens. And someone with some culture and an open mind is less likely to act like a moron. Even though we all have our moments of dumbness…

 

When Verne met Jules

21 Jun

A few weeks after his first breakup, i thought it would be great taking Verne to the circus. I decided going to my fave circus…but it was closed!!!

That didn’t stop us though, the elephants were there so I jumped on stage to show the little creepy what an entertainer i am…

 

 

– Mommy!!!!The elephant is gonna eat you!!!

– Don’t worry silly, i don’t taste like peanuts at all, i will be ok.

– But what if he likes meat?

– Ok, you’re right, let’s go outside. I think i smell cotton candy!!

 

 

– Mommy, look what i found!!!!It is a little clockwork girl!!

– I am not a girl, i am a boy!!!, answered the little creature raising his metallic voice.

– But you wear a bow!!

– I like bows. If you live in a jar it means you’re a pickle?, answered the strange baby.

– No, of course not!

– Then i can wear a bow if i feel like it.

 

I thought they both looked very cute in their little fight and got them some cotton candy so they could make friends sharing some sweetness.

 

– So, what is your name?, i asked.

– My name is Jules, i work here selling cotton candy.

– Oh nice, and your parents?Where do you live?

– They left a long time ago, went to tour around Asia with some Indian Gypsy Circus. Come, i will show you my home.

 

– This is where is sleep and these naked guys in the picture are my parents. Mom always said i look like dad when he was young, what do you think?

– Ermmm yes…kind of…nevermind.

I let Jules and Verne play in the sun, while i sat there thinking, and thinking…How could i leave a little baby alone, having to sell cotton candy for a living?

 

– Hey, you two, wanna live together like brothers in our place?

It is hard to see tears of joy in a clockwork machine, and even harder on Verne, living in a jar full of liquid…but i am sure they were crying happily.

 

So, said and done we took Jules to our place. The poor creature was exhausted i think because, as soon as we landed, he fell asleep in my arms.

 

Apres-ski Tirolese Drunk German In Mallorca Party

9 Apr

Weird name for a party you could think but, in fact, it is the most suitable for what happened yesterday at SL Addicts!!!
One week ago, while spinning Anton Aus Tirol and seeing the reaction to such an awesome tune, i got the idea of a tirolese kinda party and…guess what? No one dared to stop me!!!
So, i got my lederhosen, my goat and 2 hours of “torture tunes” and headed to the club.


Hope was already there with the beer!!!!…maybe she thought she was gonna need it?Love ya girl!

The smell of the beer attracted Joppem Aus Tirol, he brought his own beer to make sure we had enough booze to survive the tuneage and showed us how to dance the traditional tiroler folk dance and how delightful movements he made!!

Two more tirolers came skiing straight from the Alps, they didn’t event take off their skis to dance, stole some beers from Hope and started to speak words only drunk germans can understand so…

i accepted Jops belgian beers and decided it was time to please the masses with my sweet voice (LOL). I didn’t even cared about following the lyrics, and i bet they didn’t notice!!

And guess what? Even the sexy Karmannghia McGinnis joined the party!!!She didn’t dare to wear a lederhosen, but she chose a very nice dress to match the spirit of the event!!!

I have to admit, while doing the setlist, i was wondering if anyone would manage to survive and stay for two full hours, even with me singing more than usual!!But i had in mind making someone laugh, and i think i made it!!!

Some came and left, but they stayed and they all deserved to take a new friend home…

Isn’t she cute?

Maybe i should design a shirt: “i survived Ame’s tirolese party” lmao!!

The Über Nerd & The Pussy in Boots: A Bizarre Love Story

4 Apr

Über Nerd: The ultimate in nerdisity; nerdus maximus. A nerd that other nerds look upon as a God amongst their species. This nerd is often assembled from parts of lesser nerds.
Pussy in Boots: French literary fairy tale about a cat who uses trickery and deceit to gain power, wealth, and the hand of a princess in marriage for his penniless and low-born master. The tale was written at the close of the seventeenth century by Charles Perrault (1628–1703).
FemDom: Female Domination (this one was easy, huh?)

Put together these three and you’ll get the most bizarre love story ever!!

I was wandering around, shopping and looking for new stuff to wear in my crazy events and also more casual stuff. Not sure how i ended in a place called “Dominion FemDom”. I was standing there with my shiny new red boots, trying to choose from different outfits, making myself that question. do i really need this? Suddenly i heard a low, nasal and kinda weird voice saying:

Like two foci of an elliptical
Your eyes entice me
Cause my cardiac muscles
To palpitate
As I estimate the distance
Between us
I’ve arrived
At the conclusion
That you’re sitting
Approximately 5 feet and 23 centimeters
Away from me
7 and one half millimeters closer
Than yesterday
As you sit there
And I calculate your potential energy
I find myself wishing
That I could change
Y= mx + b
Into y = Unext2me
You are my complementary angle
I long to whisper
That Newton’s laws
Were created just for you
Of course that’s not true
But logic doesn’t matter anymore
Because my feelings for you are growing exponentially
Like radiation, you penetrate through my skin
You watched my veins branch like fractals
While I reached for the pencil that you dropped
You listened to the logarithm my heart produced
At a near inaudible frequency
As I returned the pencil
To it’s rightful owner
Like absolute zero
All molecules within me halted
In that moment
Your centripetal force sent me spinning
And though they say opposites attract
You didn’t even utter a thank you
It figures
Seeing as the probability of you noticing me
Is exactly .41 in 10,731
But I long
To cosine my name on a love note
Addressed to you
You are the Pascal behind my triangle
And you can count on the fact
that I’ll calc-u-later

(poem by gogetenks8)

I had to turn my back and found this guy with weird looks, pens in his shirt pocket, awful glasses, a face full of spots and a mark from his iron on the back of the shirt.

– Who are you?
– I am an über nerd, and i want to be pwned by you.
– Pwned?, i asked.
– Yes, Ma’am.

So he gave me the leash to guide his collar and we were exploring around that FemDom place. At first i felt a bit weird, i believe in the free will and wasn’t sure if this whole domination thing was my cup of tea.

After a while i have to admit it was big fun!!!Poor nerdy having to follow me all around the place, forced to shop til i drop…mwahahahaha!!!We even made friends with some other Mistresses and their subs and, after some convo about Anton Aus Tirol , he wanted to go home.

As soon as we got home, he started to feel poorly, “maybe something i ate” he said…Then he ripped his clothes, screamed like an animal and…i couldn’t believe my eyes!!!

So now i have the biggest and strongest sub in the whole Second Life grid!!!

The Piranha Plant & The Tropical Elf

1 Apr

Everyone knows elves love nature, forests, lakes, flowers and animals and so on…an also a good party!!! This elf didn’t think twice before accepting the teleport to Sanctuary Rock. Event was “tropical party” so i thought….aloha!!!! and landed right in the middle of the dancefloor. As soon as everything rezzed, i instantly saw this creature: huge, green and with a very beautiful smile, showing off his big sharp white teeth.

Audrey, the piranha plant, started to drool right away and asked for a couple dance. I was a bit scared at first, but he (yes, Audrey is a he) promised i wouldn’t get bitten so i accepted…

Ever tried couple dancing with a huge plant? He was cute and green and so…but he was stepping on my feet all the time with his branches and roots! We decided to change and dance solo instead, was a great idea ‘cos my toes were starting to hurt badly.

We were both enjoying each other’s company, dancing and chatting and smiling all over, joking around and just having fun.

– Audrey: I think i love you Amelie.
– Me: Awwww i love you too Audrey.
– Audrey: Can i kiss you?
– Me: Sure you can!

– Me: Hey, you are trying to bite me!!!
– Audrey: Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (this said while chasing me all over the place, trying to bite me)
– Me: No friggin’ way!!!

So i just ran away as far as an elf with high heels can.

Conclussion: never dance with a piranha plant until he has eaten someone else 🙂

Hangover apocalypse

6 Mar

Yes, i am sure you all have had one of these mornings, when you wake up with a weird taste on your mouth, some meaningfull sentence written on your face, maybe even some custom drawing too, and someone’s undies on your head.
You barely remember what happened last night, but you think it was big fun, just because your whole body aches. Suddenly, you notice you’re not alone…
Then you look at the other side of the bed and see someone for the first time, you rub your eyes but no, the stranger’s still there!

-Hmmmm, you say.
-Hey, stranger answers.

At this point, you have two options: being a nice host and make some coffee for both, or kick the stranger out of your place and try not to bump into each other ever again.

I wont say which one was my choice, but afterwards i decided to hang out a bit. Too lazy to dress up, i picked some leggins and an oversized t-shirt and left. I was wondering what were those people looking at…

…when i started hearing them almost pissing on themselves.
And then it happened: i saw him. All dressed for the occassion, wearing a tie like only a true gentleman can do…I couldn’t stop perving him!

I was wondering if i should go and talk to him, when he rezzed these couple dance poseballs.

-Fancy a dance?, he said.
– Uhu, i answered.

Time was flying and we were dancing like noone else was there, they all vanished in this hangover apocalypse.

– Hello stranger, i said.
– Nice hat, he answered.

And we both smiled 🙂