Tag Archives: Tales

Amelie in Wonderland part. II: The headless Queen

8 Dec

Suddenly the tea party was interrupted by the sound of thunders and we could hear the steps of the Queen’s army quickly approaching. Not knowing what to do Amelie stayed in her chair, slowly drinking tea and eating a cupcake.

- Hurry Amelie, if she gets us she’ll cut our heads off!!!!

- Who?, she asked.

- Amelie, The  Red Queen!!!!!!

- But, but…i saw her downstairs and she seemed nice!!

- You better start running now… just saying, said a voice.

- Who are you?, asked Amelie.

- My name is Amelie, but everyone here knows me as the Cheshire Kitty.

- Oh, i see Amelie is a very common name here!!

- Yes, and we’re all mad here, so you two better start running!

- But where to?, asked the Mad Hatter.

- See that big mirror? Just close your eyes and walk through it, you’ll be safe if you’re fast enough!!

Soon they found themselves in the snow, it was cold and they had no idea where to go. Luckily they found two people sitting on a bench, under the snow…

-Hey there, who are you?

- I am TweedleDee and this is my sister TweedleDum. We’re waiting for the bus.

- But there is no road here, i don’t think there’s a bus either.

- Foreigners, the twins replied at the same time.

- I found you!!!!! Now you’re going to regret not inviting me to that damm party!!!!!!!

They were so impressed with the twins that they forgot about the evil queen. Now they had nowhere to run to…

- You, little girl, you’ll be painting those damm white roses, and i want them red!!! Red like blood, red like cherries, red like…like tomatoes!!! I just want them red, capiche?

- Noooooo that is not red, that is orange!!! Orange like….oranges!! I want them red, stupid girl, red…REEEEEEEEED!!!!

Amelie kept painting as fast as she could, but the queen kept screaming like mad. They are all truly mad here, she thought.

It was so cold her fingers were turning blue…and that damm queen kept screaming. Just when she was about to shout she saw something shining between the tree’s branches…

- An axe and a knife?

- Shhh grab them Amelie…grab them and do what you came here for, said a voice behind the tree.

- But who are you?, asked Amelie.

- I am Amylee, but most people here know me as the White Queen.

- And where is your crown? Why should i trust you?

- I don’t like crowns, i prefer teacups. And i doubt you’re in a position to choose, dear…

She thought the White Queen was right after all, so grabbed the axe and the knife. Right after grabbing the magic weapons she felt fire inside her, fire burning inside …her clothes changed colour too and she became someone totally different.

- WTF? Said the Red Queen. And those were her last words.

- Off with your head!!!!! Said Amelie.

- Ok, now i want my cupcake back!!

Mmmmm cupcakes…

Beware of wolves?

30 Oct

That’s what the sign says, but shouldn’t the wolf be aware of the little girl?

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who lived in a village near the forest.  She loved dressing in red, said it was “her colour”, so everyone called her Little Red Riding Hood.

One morning, she asked her mother if she could go to visit her grandmother while they were partying in the city, as it had been awhile since they’d seen each other, then packed a basket full of goodies to take over to her grandmother and left.

At the same time, the wolf was heading to the girl’s grandmother house too. The wolf…that girl drove him crazy. He was madly in love with her, but she  kept ignoring him. Maybe it was the hair, the fangs, the smell, or maybe she didn’t like guys with 4 legs, who knows.  One day he got desperate and thought that maybe if he made friends with her family things would be different. Her parents weren’t home so he decided visiting the grandma. While he was on his way, he could smell Red Riding Hood on her way too…what a great idea, we’ll meet there!!!, he said to himself. Unfortunately the old grumpy woman wans’t too friendly, and he was hungry so…he had to eat her.

After eating, he looked into through Granny’s wardrobe to find a nightgown that he liked, knowing the girl was about to arrive.  He added a cap to hide his ears and waited. A few minutes later, Red Riding Hood knocked on the door.  The wolf jumped into bed and pulled the covers over his nose.  “Who is it?” he called in a cackly voice.

-  It’s me, Little Red Riding Hood.”

-  Oh how lovely!  Do come in, my dear,” said the wolf.

When Little Red Riding Hood entered the little house, she could barely recognize her Grandmother.

- Granny!  Your voice sounds so weird, are you ok?”,  she asked.

- Oh, I just have a cold,” replied the wolf coughing.

- But Grandmother!  What big ears you have,” said Little Red Riding Hood as she edged closer to the bed.

- The better to hear you with, my dear,” replied the wolf.

- But Grandmother!  What big eyes you have,” said Little Red Riding Hood.

- The better to see you with, my dear,” replied the wolf.

- But Grandmother!  What big mouth you have,” said Little Red Riding Hood her voice quivering slightly.

- The better to kiss you with, my dear,” roared the wolf and he leapt out of the bed and began to chase the little girl.

-You are not my granny!!!!!What have you done to her?

-Of course not, I am the wolf and I love you!!!!Who cares about your old grandmother, she wont make you happy like I will!!!

-Omg you annoying freak, I thought I made clear I am not interested in you!!!What have you done to my granny?, she said while looking at the wolf’s belly.

-I’m sorry, I didn’t want to, I just…I love you!!!

-She ran outside, shouting: “Help!  Wolf!” as loudly as she could.

Outside, next to an old stump, she found an axe and then walked inside the house again. Where are you, my hairy friend?, she said. Come on, I never really liked that old woman anyway, come outside so we can go dancing to celebrate…

The poor idiot then came out of the wardrobe and, so fast he didn’t even feel it, she cut his head off. In the last second, he could even see her smile…

Doofy & Snow White, just another bizarre love story

29 Jul

Being a princess isn’t easy, specially when your dad gets married with an evil woman that is jealous of your youth and beauty. Snow White got tired of all those boring princes that only wanted the secksin and her dad’s money so she was quite glad when her stepmother sent her to the dark forest…

No animals , no people, nothing. She was about to die of boredom when suddenly she started hearing some music…Following the sound she found a club in the middle of the forest and there he was, giving it all on the dancefloor.

- Hey pretty!!! My name is Doofy, how are you?

- Hello, i am Snow White, but my friends call me Snowhite. I am a bit lost in the forest.

- Oh, don’t worry i can take you home. Used to live with my 6 brothers but i got tired of them. Wanna see where i live?

She was hungry and needed to pee badly, so was quite happy to go somewhere nice, and that little dwarf looked harmless…

 

- Ohhh i love roses, thank you!!

- A girl like you should always have roses.

- I like you, Doofy.

Snowhite was feeling safe with that sweet romancing dwarf, they danced and danced and finally rested a bit on the beach.

 

- Mmm Doofy, you have a big thing in your pocket!

- Oh…that…that is my mobile phone sweety. Anyway, do you wanna see the rest of the place?

- Sure, do you have a toilet?

- Ermm…yes i guess…

 

Doofy said they’d play a game, and after playing she could pee. Snowhite agreed, after all she was very curious about this guy and always liked playing.

 

- Ooh a cross! Dad’s wife has one, but i never knew what was it for.

- It is a very funny toy, just let me adjust the cuffs and…voila!

After a while she was sweating lots, so Doofy gently offered to help her get undressed… and they continued playing.

 

After an hour or so Doofy and Snowhite were both tired, and the idea of a massage seemed nice…

 

 

- Oh, almost forgot, next week it’s my birthday. My 6 brothers will visit, wanna join the party?

- Sure Doofy, i am not going anywhere…

Amelie in Wonderland

29 Jun

Amelie was always a very curious girl, she loved investigating, exploring and always learning new things from the weirdest situations. One day, while in her lovely garden, she saw a very cute rabbit running through the flowers. She even could hear him scream: i’m late!!!late to my own party!!
Party, that was the magic word. Amelie couldn’t do anything else than follow the little rabbit, it was getting dark so she didn’t saw the hole in the ground.

And she was falling and falling…til she landed on some other garden. It was getting dark and cold, and no sign of the rabbit. Hmmm maybe in that castle…

- Hello, are you a queen?
- Yes, i am Amelie, the Red Queen of Wonderland.
- Ooohhh what a coincidence, my name is Amelie too!!
- It is a very common name here…
- Have you seen a white rabbit?
- Yes, he went to the party through that red door. Unfortunately they didn’t invite me…maybe it’s because i like cutting some heads off once in a while…
- Oh that is a shame, well i’ll try going to the party. Take care Queen Amelie.

- Hello my name is Amelie, can i join your party?
- Oh yes, my name is Amelie too. Take a seat next to me, said a woman with a strange hat with birds on top of it.

- I am Amelie and i own Le Cirque Du Freaks here in Wonderland. This is the white rabbit’s birthday, and those are his sister Amelie and his girlfriend Amelie, with their kid on her hat.

- Ohhh pleased to meet you, you all have very nice hats!!
- I am glad you like them Amelie, i am Amelie, the mad hatter and i made all these hats as well as the one Amelie, the card sitting next to me, is wearing. Maybe i could make one for you!

- Oohhh i’d love that!!!

And then we all heard screams and thunders outside…as one dark cloud was getting close to the castle…

The Happy Prince

29 Apr

In a day when millions of people are watching the Royal Wedding (me included) i wanted to share with you the story of a different Prince, my favourite prince of all time.

This is the story of the Happy Prince, by Oscar Wilde:

High above the city, on a tall column, stood the statue of the Happy Prince. He was gilded all over with thin leaves of fine gold, for eyes he had two bright sapphires, and a large red ruby glowed on his sword-hilt.
He was very much admired indeed. “He is as beautiful as a weathercock,” remarked one of the Town Councillors who wished to gain a reputation for having artistic tastes; “only not quite so useful,” he added, fearing lest people should think him unpractical, which he really was not.
“Why can’t you be like the Happy Prince?” asked a sensible mother of her little boy who was crying for the moon. “The Happy Prince never dreams of crying for anything.”
“I am glad there is some one in the world who is quite happy,” muttered a disappointed man as he gazed at the wonderful statue.
“He looks just like an angel,” said the Charity Children as they came out of the cathedral in their bright scarlet cloaks and their clean white pinafores.
“How do you know?” said the Mathematical Master, “you have never seen one.”
“Ah! but we have, in our dreams,” answered the children; and the Mathematical Master frowned and looked very severe, for he did not approve of children dreaming.
One night there flew over the city a little Swallow. His friends had gone away to Egypt six weeks before, but he had stayed behind, for he was in love with the most beautiful Reed. He had met her early in the spring as he was flying down the river after a big yellow moth, and had been so attracted by her slender waist that he had stopped to talk to her.
“Shall I love you?” said the Swallow, who liked to come to the point at once, and the Reed made him a low bow. So he flew round and round her, touching the water with his wings, and making silver ripples. This was his courtship, and it lasted all through the summer.
“It is a ridiculous attachment,” twittered the other Swallows; “she has no money, and far too many relations”; and indeed the river was quite full of Reeds. Then, when the autumn came they all flew away.
After they had gone he felt lonely, and began to tire of his lady- love. “She has no conversation,” he said, “and I am afraid that she is a coquette, for she is always flirting with the wind.” And certainly, whenever the wind blew, the Reed made the most graceful curtseys. “I admit that she is domestic,” he continued, “but I love travelling, and my wife, consequently, should love travelling also.”
“Will you come away with me?” he said finally to her; but the Reed shook her head, she was so attached to her home.
“You have been trifling with me,” he cried. “I am off to the Pyramids. Good-bye!” and he flew away.
All day long he flew, and at night-time he arrived at the city. “Where shall I put up?” he said; “I hope the town has made preparations.”
Then he saw the statue on the tall column.
“I will put up there,” he cried; “it is a fine position, with plenty of fresh air.” So he alighted just between the feet of the Happy Prince.
“I have a golden bedroom,” he said softly to himself as he looked round, and he prepared to go to sleep; but just as he was putting his head under his wing a large drop of water fell on him. “What a curious thing!” he cried; “there is not a single cloud in the sky, the stars are quite clear and bright, and yet it is raining. The climate in the north of Europe is really dreadful. The Reed used to like the rain, but that was merely her selfishness.”
Then another drop fell.
“What is the use of a statue if it cannot keep the rain off?” he said; “I must look for a good chimney-pot,” and he determined to fly away.
But before he had opened his wings, a third drop fell, and he looked up, and saw – Ah! what did he see?
The eyes of the Happy Prince were filled with tears, and tears were running down his golden cheeks. His face was so beautiful in the moonlight that the little Swallow was filled with pity.
“Who are you?” he said.
“I am the Happy Prince.”
“Why are you weeping then?” asked the Swallow; “you have quite drenched me.”
“When I was alive and had a human heart,” answered the statue, “I did not know what tears were, for I lived in the Palace of Sans- Souci, where sorrow is not allowed to enter. In the daytime I played with my companions in the garden, and in the evening I led the dance in the Great Hall. Round the garden ran a very lofty wall, but I never cared to ask what lay beyond it, everything about me was so beautiful. My courtiers called me the Happy Prince, and happy indeed I was, if pleasure be happiness. So I lived, and so I died. And now that I am dead they have set me up here so high that I can see all the ugliness and all the misery of my city, and though my heart is made of lead yet I cannot chose but weep.”
“What! is he not solid gold?” said the Swallow to himself. He was too polite to make any personal remarks out loud.
“Far away,” continued the statue in a low musical voice, “far away in a little street there is a poor house. One of the windows is open, and through it I can see a woman seated at a table. Her face is thin and worn, and she has coarse, red hands, all pricked by the needle, for she is a seamstress. She is embroidering passion- flowers on a satin gown for the loveliest of the Queen’s maids-of- honour to wear at the next Court-ball. In a bed in the corner of the room her little boy is lying ill. He has a fever, and is asking for oranges. His mother has nothing to give him but river water, so he is crying. Swallow, Swallow, little Swallow, will you not bring her the ruby out of my sword-hilt? My feet are fastened to this pedestal and I cannot move.”
“I am waited for in Egypt,” said the Swallow. “My friends are flying up and down the Nile, and talking to the large lotus- flowers. Soon they will go to sleep in the tomb of the great King. The King is there himself in his painted coffin. He is wrapped in yellow linen, and embalmed with spices. Round his neck is a chain of pale green jade, and his hands are like withered leaves.”
“Swallow, Swallow, little Swallow,” said the Prince, “will you not stay with me for one night, and be my messenger? The boy is so thirsty, and the mother so sad.”
“I don’t think I like boys,” answered the Swallow. “Last summer, when I was staying on the river, there were two rude boys, the miller’s sons, who were always throwing stones at me. They never hit me, of course; we swallows fly far too well for that, and besides, I come of a family famous for its agility; but still, it was a mark of disrespect.”
But the Happy Prince looked so sad that the little Swallow was sorry. “It is very cold here,” he said; “but I will stay with you for one night, and be your messenger.”
“Thank you, little Swallow,” said the Prince.
So the Swallow picked out the great ruby from the Prince’s sword, and flew away with it in his beak over the roofs of the town.
He passed by the cathedral tower, where the white marble angels were sculptured. He passed by the palace and heard the sound of dancing. A beautiful girl came out on the balcony with her lover. “How wonderful the stars are,” he said to her, “and how wonderful is the power of love!”
“I hope my dress will be ready in time for the State-ball,” she answered; “I have ordered passion-flowers to be embroidered on it; but the seamstresses are so lazy.”
He passed over the river, and saw the lanterns hanging to the masts of the ships. He passed over the Ghetto, and saw the old Jews bargaining with each other, and weighing out money in copper scales. At last he came to the poor house and looked in. The boy was tossing feverishly on his bed, and the mother had fallen asleep, she was so tired. In he hopped, and laid the great ruby on the table beside the woman’s thimble. Then he flew gently round the bed, fanning the boy’s forehead with his wings. “How cool I feel,” said the boy, “I must be getting better”; and he sank into a delicious slumber.
Then the Swallow flew back to the Happy Prince, and told him what he had done. “It is curious,” he remarked, “but I feel quite warm now, although it is so cold.”
“That is because you have done a good action,” said the Prince. And the little Swallow began to think, and then he fell asleep. Thinking always made him sleepy.
When day broke he flew down to the river and had a bath. “What a remarkable phenomenon,” said the Professor of Ornithology as he was passing over the bridge. “A swallow in winter!” And he wrote a long letter about it to the local newspaper. Every one quoted it, it was full of so many words that they could not understand.
“To-night I go to Egypt,” said the Swallow, and he was in high spirits at the prospect. He visited all the public monuments, and sat a long time on top of the church steeple. Wherever he went the Sparrows chirruped, and said to each other, “What a distinguished stranger!” so he enjoyed himself very much.
When the moon rose he flew back to the Happy Prince. “Have you any commissions for Egypt?” he cried; “I am just starting.”
“Swallow, Swallow, little Swallow,” said the Prince, “will you not stay with me one night longer?”
“I am waited for in Egypt,” answered the Swallow. “To-morrow my friends will fly up to the Second Cataract. The river-horse couches there among the bulrushes, and on a great granite throne sits the God Memnon. All night long he watches the stars, and when the morning star shines he utters one cry of joy, and then he is silent. At noon the yellow lions come down to the water’s edge to drink. They have eyes like green beryls, and their roar is louder than the roar of the cataract.
“Swallow, Swallow, little Swallow,” said the Prince, “far away across the city I see a young man in a garret. He is leaning over a desk covered with papers, and in a tumbler by his side there is a bunch of withered violets. His hair is brown and crisp, and his lips are red as a pomegranate, and he has large and dreamy eyes. He is trying to finish a play for the Director of the Theatre, but he is too cold to write any more. There is no fire in the grate, and hunger has made him faint.”
“I will wait with you one night longer,” said the Swallow, who really had a good heart. “Shall I take him another ruby?”
“Alas! I have no ruby now,” said the Prince; “my eyes are all that I have left. They are made of rare sapphires, which were brought out of India a thousand years ago. Pluck out one of them and take it to him. He will sell it to the jeweller, and buy food and firewood, and finish his play.”
“Dear Prince,” said the Swallow, “I cannot do that”; and he began to weep.
“Swallow, Swallow, little Swallow,” said the Prince, “do as I command you.”
So the Swallow plucked out the Prince’s eye, and flew away to the student’s garret. It was easy enough to get in, as there was a hole in the roof. Through this he darted, and came into the room. The young man had his head buried in his hands, so he did not hear the flutter of the bird’s wings, and when he looked up he found the beautiful sapphire lying on the withered violets.
“I am beginning to be appreciated,” he cried; “this is from some great admirer. Now I can finish my play,” and he looked quite happy.
The next day the Swallow flew down to the harbour. He sat on the mast of a large vessel and watched the sailors hauling big chests out of the hold with ropes. “Heave a-hoy!” they shouted as each chest came up. “I am going to Egypt”! cried the Swallow, but nobody minded, and when the moon rose he flew back to the Happy Prince.
“I am come to bid you good-bye,” he cried.
“Swallow, Swallow, little Swallow,” said the Prince, “will you not stay with me one night longer?”
“It is winter,” answered the Swallow, “and the chill snow will soon be here. In Egypt the sun is warm on the green palm-trees, and the crocodiles lie in the mud and look lazily about them. My companions are building a nest in the Temple of Baalbec, and the pink and white doves are watching them, and cooing to each other. Dear Prince, I must leave you, but I will never forget you, and next spring I will bring you back two beautiful jewels in place of those you have given away. The ruby shall be redder than a red rose, and the sapphire shall be as blue as the great sea.”
“In the square below,” said the Happy Prince, “there stands a little match-girl. She has let her matches fall in the gutter, and they are all spoiled. Her father will beat her if she does not bring home some money, and she is crying. She has no shoes or stockings, and her little head is bare. Pluck out my other eye, and give it to her, and her father will not beat her.”
“I will stay with you one night longer,” said the Swallow, “but I cannot pluck out your eye. You would be quite blind then.”
“Swallow, Swallow, little Swallow,” said the Prince, “do as I command you.”
So he plucked out the Prince’s other eye, and darted down with it. He swooped past the match-girl, and slipped the jewel into the palm of her hand. “What a lovely bit of glass,” cried the little girl; and she ran home, laughing.
Then the Swallow came back to the Prince. “You are blind now,” he said, “so I will stay with you always.”
“No, little Swallow,” said the poor Prince, “you must go away to Egypt.”
“I will stay with you always,” said the Swallow, and he slept at the Prince’s feet.
All the next day he sat on the Prince’s shoulder, and told him stories of what he had seen in strange lands. He told him of the red ibises, who stand in long rows on the banks of the Nile, and catch gold-fish in their beaks; of the Sphinx, who is as old as the world itself, and lives in the desert, and knows everything; of the merchants, who walk slowly by the side of their camels, and carry amber beads in their hands; of the King of the Mountains of the Moon, who is as black as ebony, and worships a large crystal; of the great green snake that sleeps in a palm-tree, and has twenty priests to feed it with honey-cakes; and of the pygmies who sail over a big lake on large flat leaves, and are always at war with the butterflies.
“Dear little Swallow,” said the Prince, “you tell me of marvellous things, but more marvellous than anything is the suffering of men and of women. There is no Mystery so great as Misery. Fly over my city, little Swallow, and tell me what you see there.”
So the Swallow flew over the great city, and saw the rich making merry in their beautiful houses, while the beggars were sitting at the gates. He flew into dark lanes, and saw the white faces of starving children looking out listlessly at the black streets. Under the archway of a bridge two little boys were lying in one another’s arms to try and keep themselves warm. “How hungry we are!” they said. “You must not lie here,” shouted the Watchman, and they wandered out into the rain.
Then he flew back and told the Prince what he had seen.
“I am covered with fine gold,” said the Prince, “you must take it off, leaf by leaf, and give it to my poor; the living always think that gold can make them happy.”
Leaf after leaf of the fine gold the Swallow picked off, till the Happy Prince looked quite dull and grey. Leaf after leaf of the fine gold he brought to the poor, and the children’s faces grew rosier, and they laughed and played games in the street. “We have bread now!” they cried.
Then the snow came, and after the snow came the frost. The streets looked as if they were made of silver, they were so bright and glistening; long icicles like crystal daggers hung down from the eaves of the houses, everybody went about in furs, and the little boys wore scarlet caps and skated on the ice.
The poor little Swallow grew colder and colder, but he would not leave the Prince, he loved him too well. He picked up crumbs outside the baker’s door when the baker was not looking and tried to keep himself warm by flapping his wings.
But at last he knew that he was going to die. He had just strength to fly up to the Prince’s shoulder once more. “Good-bye, dear Prince!” he murmured, “will you let me kiss your hand?”
“I am glad that you are going to Egypt at last, little Swallow,” said the Prince, “you have stayed too long here; but you must kiss me on the lips, for I love you.”
“It is not to Egypt that I am going,” said the Swallow. “I am going to the House of Death. Death is the brother of Sleep, is he not?”
And he kissed the Happy Prince on the lips, and fell down dead at his feet.
At that moment a curious crack sounded inside the statue, as if something had broken. The fact is that the leaden heart had snapped right in two. It certainly was a dreadfully hard frost.
Early the next morning the Mayor was walking in the square below in company with the Town Councillors. As they passed the column he looked up at the statue: “Dear me! how shabby the Happy Prince looks!” he said.
“How shabby indeed!” cried the Town Councillors, who always agreed with the Mayor; and they went up to look at it.
“The ruby has fallen out of his sword, his eyes are gone, and he is golden no longer,” said the Mayor in fact, “he is litttle beter than a beggar!”
“Little better than a beggar,” said the Town Councillors.
“And here is actually a dead bird at his feet!” continued the Mayor. “We must really issue a proclamation that birds are not to be allowed to die here.” And the Town Clerk made a note of the suggestion.
So they pulled down the statue of the Happy Prince. “As he is no longer beautiful he is no longer useful,” said the Art Professor at the University.
Then they melted the statue in a furnace, and the Mayor held a meeting of the Corporation to decide what was to be done with the metal. “We must have another statue, of course,” he said, “and it shall be a statue of myself.”
“Of myself,” said each of the Town Councillors, and they quarrelled. When I last heard of them they were quarrelling still.
“What a strange thing!” said the overseer of the workmen at the foundry. “This broken lead heart will not melt in the furnace. We must throw it away.” So they threw it on a dust-heap where the dead Swallow was also lying.
“Bring me the two most precious things in the city,” said God to one of His Angels; and the Angel brought Him the leaden heart and the dead bird.
“You have rightly chosen,” said God, “for in my garden of Paradise this little bird shall sing for evermore, and in my city of gold the Happy Prince shall praise me.”

The Über Nerd & The Pussy in Boots: A Bizarre Love Story

4 Apr

Über Nerd: The ultimate in nerdisity; nerdus maximus. A nerd that other nerds look upon as a God amongst their species. This nerd is often assembled from parts of lesser nerds.
Pussy in Boots: French literary fairy tale about a cat who uses trickery and deceit to gain power, wealth, and the hand of a princess in marriage for his penniless and low-born master. The tale was written at the close of the seventeenth century by Charles Perrault (1628–1703).
FemDom: Female Domination (this one was easy, huh?)

Put together these three and you’ll get the most bizarre love story ever!!

I was wandering around, shopping and looking for new stuff to wear in my crazy events and also more casual stuff. Not sure how i ended in a place called “Dominion FemDom”. I was standing there with my shiny new red boots, trying to choose from different outfits, making myself that question. do i really need this? Suddenly i heard a low, nasal and kinda weird voice saying:

Like two foci of an elliptical
Your eyes entice me
Cause my cardiac muscles
To palpitate
As I estimate the distance
Between us
I’ve arrived
At the conclusion
That you’re sitting
Approximately 5 feet and 23 centimeters
Away from me
7 and one half millimeters closer
Than yesterday
As you sit there
And I calculate your potential energy
I find myself wishing
That I could change
Y= mx + b
Into y = Unext2me
You are my complementary angle
I long to whisper
That Newton’s laws
Were created just for you
Of course that’s not true
But logic doesn’t matter anymore
Because my feelings for you are growing exponentially
Like radiation, you penetrate through my skin
You watched my veins branch like fractals
While I reached for the pencil that you dropped
You listened to the logarithm my heart produced
At a near inaudible frequency
As I returned the pencil
To it’s rightful owner
Like absolute zero
All molecules within me halted
In that moment
Your centripetal force sent me spinning
And though they say opposites attract
You didn’t even utter a thank you
It figures
Seeing as the probability of you noticing me
Is exactly .41 in 10,731
But I long
To cosine my name on a love note
Addressed to you
You are the Pascal behind my triangle
And you can count on the fact
that I’ll calc-u-later

(poem by gogetenks8)

I had to turn my back and found this guy with weird looks, pens in his shirt pocket, awful glasses, a face full of spots and a mark from his iron on the back of the shirt.

- Who are you?
- I am an über nerd, and i want to be pwned by you.
- Pwned?, i asked.
- Yes, Ma’am.

So he gave me the leash to guide his collar and we were exploring around that FemDom place. At first i felt a bit weird, i believe in the free will and wasn’t sure if this whole domination thing was my cup of tea.

After a while i have to admit it was big fun!!!Poor nerdy having to follow me all around the place, forced to shop til i drop…mwahahahaha!!!We even made friends with some other Mistresses and their subs and, after some convo about Anton Aus Tirol , he wanted to go home.

As soon as we got home, he started to feel poorly, “maybe something i ate” he said…Then he ripped his clothes, screamed like an animal and…i couldn’t believe my eyes!!!

So now i have the biggest and strongest sub in the whole Second Life grid!!!

The Wasp & The Butterfly

22 Mar

I’ve always thought butterflies are one of the most beautiful creatures on earth. I even have one tattooed since the day i turned 18 years old (yes, that’s a while ago now ;p). One could think they’re fragile and it’s true they don’t have a long life but, despite their gracefulness, some of them can do amazing things.
The Monarch migrates over long distances and creates an amazing natural spectacle every year. Some have developed symbiotic and parasitic relationships with social insects such as ants. Even though some species can damage domestic crops or trees, others are agents of pollination of some plants, and even eat harmful insects. Not to mention the times their image has been used by artists over the centuries.

Today i found this fable by Aesop (translated by Laura Gibbs), and i want to share it with you:

———–The Wasp & The Butterfly————

A butterfly noticed a wasp flying by and exclaimed, ‘What an unfair turn of events this is! In our previous lifetimes, when we inhabited the bodies from whose mortal remains we received our souls, I was the one who spoke eloquently in times of peace and fought bravely in war, and I was first among my fellows in all of the arts! Yet look at me now, an utter frivolity, crumbling into ashes as I flutter here and there. You, on the other hand, were formerly a mule, a beast of burden, yet now you stab and wound anyone you want with your sting.’ The wasp then uttered words that are worth repeating: ‘It does not matter what we used to be: the important thing is what we are now!’

Note: This fable derives from the ancient belief that wasps would spring from the carcass of a dead mule or horse (e.g. Aelian, Characteristics of Animals 1.28), while a spirit or ‘psyche’ would take shape in the form of a butterfly (Aristotle, History of Animals 551a).

Lie, Pornocchio lie!!!!!

2 Mar

We always complain about how easily people lie, and get hurted when we find out the truth. Lies can cause a big damage in any kind of relationship, from friendship to partnership. It is like using a duct tape. When you stick it for the first time it sticks perfectly, but if you unstick it and use it again…it will never fit so perfectly. Conclusion: once lies appear and trust is damaged, things are never the same.

Of course you can forgive, try to forget, and go on…but deep inside things wont be the same ever. A broken mirror can never look brand new, even if you glue the pieces.

All this said, i met someone that i really really cant wait to get fooled by. I want him to lie to me, big big lies with no mercy. He’s a bit shorter than me and he is…well…made of wood. Wanna know who am talking about?

Lie Pornocchio lie!!!!!!!

Unfortunately he wasnt too excited about his wooden body , said this family of thermites were making holes all around his tiny body. He asked this faerie to make him a human boy…

And she turned him into a grown up man…and very yummy i must say.

Shame he lost his growing nose…lies arent fun anymore ;p

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